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oh atlanta, i hear you callin me
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 13th, 2008|10:56 pm] |
Sometimes....all i can do is really laugh at myself.
I really love my life right now, I'm the happiest i've been since the fall...and i think laughing at yourself helps you get there.
Much love to you! |
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| lose-lose |
[Feb. 27th, 2008|01:00 am] |
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...and that was the hardest decision i've ever had to make. :( |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 20th, 2007|09:46 pm] |
Things are up and down with Dave. Physically, he is great; the doctors are very pleased with the way he is healing, which is fantastic news. However, mentally he doesn’t seem to be the same as he was. Not that he is having any problems with cognition or doesn’t know who we are… it’s just that he is becoming very difficult to deal with. He has pulled out his feeding tube three times, pulled out his IVs and tried to walk out…and almost bled out. They have had to restrain him in his bed several times, which he hates, so he consequently becomes more difficult. He just is frustrated and becomes mean and nasty…very unlike his actual self.
I went to see him on Saturday and he was adamant that he would leave the hospital that day, despite the fact that he cannot walk, has a traich in, and still requires serious care. My mom tried to explain to him that while she wishes he could come home, he can’t because he still needs care. He said he would tear his traich out and call cab if we didn’t take him home. He got so mad at my mom he stopped talking to her and only talked to me. He told (or wrote, rather) that the nurses are awful to him, that they put straight jackets on him and tie him in a chair for hours. Both are exaggerations, he has been in a posey and not a straight jacket, and nurses would never leave him alone for that long.
On Sunday he was much better, and apologized in his own way, and things were looking great on Monday as well. But today, he pulled out his feeding tube again, so they are going to have to put the feeding tube in his stomach, which will require a minor operation tomorrow. It’s just so difficult to know what sort of mood he is going to be in…he can either be nice or just mean and uncooperative. I know it is coming out of a place of frustration…he’s always seen himself as the marine that can do anything, and he’s always on the go…he doesn’t want to be in the hospital anymore, and the sad thing is that he would be so much closer to going home if he would stop doing things that hinder his recovery process.
Mom is holding up, she's a trooper...but she is just so tired of his attitude, and its hard for her. She clearly knows what is best for him..as his wife and a medical professional, but he won't listen when she tries to explain everything to him...he just dosn't care. I know she's also stressed about school, she says she's behind, and Dave before the surgery was adament that she finish school this semester. He was almost mean to her today...he is mean to his nurses...he is just not himself, and its hard for her to watch that. Plus she's exhausted...you can just tell, she looks tired. I wish I could be there more, but work is keeping me away during the week. Parker came down from Montreal to be with my mom, and to sit with Dave during the day so Mom can get some rest and go to school. It was actually quite awesome of him to do this…he insisted on being with mom and Dave to help out. He called at 5 am to tell us this, as soon as he read the latest email update.
As life would have it, there is a funny story in the midst of this chaos…when we first got there on Saturday, Dave drew a map of the streets outside the hospital, and told me to get the car and pull it around and park it on the street and he and mom would meet us out there. Mom and I at first thought he was being funny, and then we realized he was being serious....but its still funny.
I’m headed back on Friday, I’ll update when I know more. Thank you all for your prayers and good thoughts. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 4th, 2007|06:15 pm] |
Dave's surgery is scheduled for Wednesday morning at Montelorrie Hospital. I'll be heading back home on Tuesday afternoon after a noon meeting, and I'll stay through the weekend. I'm glad I'm going to be there...especially for my mom. The surgery is an intense one, it will be about 8 hours, and basically...it's the last thing they can do. Really, it's the only thing they have left to do.
They will have to keep Dave sedated for a few days because the work they will be doing is pretty sensitive, so they will have to minimalize any chance of disturbing it. The last time Dave was sedated like this, he couldn't wake up. I think that might be the most stressful aspect for my mom.
Despite all of this, the last chances, the risks, I am more confident than ever that God is good. Not to say that any of this is necessarily good, but I can only see what I can see...the scope of God's vision is so much larger than anything that I can imagine or understand. And that is what gives me hope.
It seems like so many of the people I care about are having major events happen in their lives, or in the lives of their families. I love you all more than you know. Keep your chins up...keep fighting through. Life is so beautiful even in the midst of chaos. You all have so much strength; you all inspire me. Every single one of you.
Thanks so much for all of your thoughts and prayers. They give us so much peace and hope. I'll keep you updated on how things go on Wednesday. |
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| EDIT- |
[Jan. 31st, 2007|01:26 pm] |
EDIT
My step-dad was diagnosed with agressive cancer today. Surgery dates will be posted as soon as I know them. Please keep my mom and step-dad in your prayers.
Kayleigh
Edit: Surgery is scheduled for Feburary 7th. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 29th, 2007|07:47 pm] |
I had a dream last night that is was the Saturday before Black Cat started, and Amy Flaggs and I were panicked because we had no decorations or songs. I remember talking to Aden asking him to write a song, but, then i remembered that he was our field hockey person, and i was so confused. I woke up after I remembered that the Lunas were doing Jr. Production, which meant that we had graduated, so we didn't have to do Black Cat. It was a big relief.
There's a lot going on right now, and in honor of last weeks State of the Union (Nancy Pelosi...so hot right now) I thought I'd write my own State of Kayleigh. I'll divide it up into catagories.
Health.
My step-dad's tests came back inconclusive, which means they are just going to wait and see how it is. This is pretty decent news, considering what it could have been. I swear, if he gets cancer again, I will kill him...or the tiny deformed cancerous cells. I really don't want my mom to go through this again. I know some of you were waiting to hear this news, so i apologize for the late timing. thanks for your thoughts and prayers!
My second opinion visit with the endocrinoligist yielded the same results, but overall i feel a lot better about it. This new doctor actually explained this thing to me instead of saying "well, your thyroid will probably stop working in 7 months, but i'll check in with you in a year or so." i love me some anti-social doctors. It's really nothing...it's called Hashimoto's Disease, and basically my immune system is attacking my thyroid...it's relatively common, and I'll just have to get frequent blood tests to monitor my THP levels, and eventually take a pill once a day. It's really no big deal, although in a funny twist...the normal THP levels are around 30, mine are 890...what can i say, i've always been ahead of the curve. Anyway, long story short, no big deal, no cause to worry, it will be ok. promise.
Baltimore:
Eh...about the same. I really really want to move. I have some good friends here, but it dosn't really feel like home. My job sucks the big fat one...i feel like it sucks the life out of me. i know that all first jobs are supposed to suck a little, and you have to pay your dues and all, but it's frustrating. On the plus side, I have made some really good friends and found a church I enjoy. So maybe this is all apart of growing pains. Alex and I have talked about moving somewhere for a year together, so maybe that will be the answer. Although...i have found an awesome job in Pittsburgh of all places. (Shh..don't tell anyone, it's a long shot) We'll see what happens
I had my first snow "storm" and it involved me crashing my new car at 2 miles an hour on a patch of ice...somehow two miles an hour = 735 dollars in payment to fix a bent control rod and strut. somebody tell me things in atlanta are sunny and warm! I'll get this whole driving in ice thing down one day.
Love
That title sounds a lot more exciting then it acutally is! It's been hard. I've met some really cool people down here, but I (to the dismay of the girls I work with) am just not interested in anyone. David sent me a meessage a few weeks ago asking me never to contact again...nevermind that it was the same day I received a Christmas card from him, nevermind that in november he sent me flowers, nevermind that he initiated most of hte post break up conversation. I'm just so mad and hurt...and still I wake up in the middleof the night to find that I have moved one of my pillows to the side of the bed that he slept on when he was here. And that might be what hurts the most. As much as I miss Pittsburgh, and i have some great friends...it still weird when i go back. i really miss the small things... i miss the church that i went to and the friends that i had there. and i miss sitting on mt. washington in front of the cahtolic church we used to pray in...
oh blah blah blah...i know, saddest story right. Overall...life is good. I'm learning so much this year. Even when it gets frustrating I realize how essentially cool it is to be living on my own. sure, i don't have any money, and I miss so many of the people I love and care about, but this is life. this is my life, and it's going to be awesome, because i refuse for it to be medeiocre. Cue the music and watch me spin around and throw my hat in the air!
I hope all of you are doing well! You guys all pretty much rule. I hope that I will see the Agnes people of you in April! Or sooner!! By the way...is anyone else in love Paul Rudd? He is precious. And he throws the best temper tanrums ever. |
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| a little stocking stuffer! |
[Dec. 20th, 2006|11:37 pm] |
This is pretty lame, but I gave it a shot 1. Open your library (iTunes, , Media Player, iPod,etc) 2. Put it on shuffle 3. Press play 4. For every question, type the song that's playing 5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
Opening Credits: Superstar, Lauryn Hill
Waking Up: One Man Guy, Rufus Wainwright
First Day At School: Fools Rush In-some pop cover from the Lilo and Stick soundtrack (yesss..this sounds like a disney movie!)
Falling In Love: I want to be Dave, Matt Jones (NO LIE! how weird.... it's actually that song that Amy Herring used in J-Pro for the senior montage...remember? the lyrics are: if i said it wouldn't miss you, that i would be a liar, and if i tried to hide it then i'd be a fool, because today is today, tomorrow's what we make it, and yesterday is gone) this is CREEPY!
Fight Song: Girl Like You, Pete Yorn (what can i say, i'm a lover, not a fighter)
Breaking Up: Good Intentions, Ari Hest
Prom: Army, Ben Folds Five (my prom would have been bitchin' if they played this...i might have actually liked it!)
Life: Creep, Radiohead
Mental Breakdown: What I like About You, The Suicide MAchines
Driving: The Worst Day Since Yesterday, Flogging Molly
Flashback: I Get Around, The Beach Boys
Wedding: As Lovers Go (acoustic) Dashboard Confessional
Birth of Child: Girls Just Want to HAve Fun, Cyndi Lauper (fun...or pain?)
Final Battle: Steadier Footing, Death Cab for Cutie
Death Scene: Gleaming Auction, Snow Patrol (sweet!)
Funeral: Give Judy My Notice, Ben Folds
End Credit: Civilians, Erin McKeown (that'd be pretty sweet)
You all should try that...it's pretty interesting. I'm going to Pittsbugh tomorrow, and I'll be there until the 29th or so, and then it's back to B-more where I will get to see Alex! Rock on for best friends. I miss you all, and I hope you all have wonderful Christmases! |
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| this weekend's winners and losers |
[Dec. 3rd, 2006|09:55 pm] |
losers: can someone explain this TJ Bearyton doll to me? a) it's teddy rukspin. hello. b) it says it teaches your children to love books and have an active imagination. My problems with is are such: i) i don't think you can learn to love books by having someone read TO you. you just love to have stories told to you. ii) imagination..it shows a kid reapeating simply what it sees in the book. that's not imagination, that's observation
winners: a) the old woman at the severn Holiday party who told me that she had to leave early to go usher for a Rent. I asked her if she enjoyed the show and her response was: "No, I don't care for it. It's just about a bunch of kids screwing and hump-a-lumping."
b)Extreme Makeover Home Edition Human beings amaze me in their generosity and spirit. and this family is incredible, the parents are crazy in love, and are precious. i may or may not have cried throughout the whole episode.
Have a Great week, y'all!
EDIT: My mom told me today that she went out and had shots with her seminarian friends last night. Shots? My mom? Mid-life crisis? Should I be concerned? |
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| turkey for me, turkey for you |
[Nov. 27th, 2006|10:51 pm] |
hello all you in livejournal land...aka the maybe 5 of you who read this crazy thing
before we begin the analysis let me just say that i saw the most awesome bumper sticker today that said "Metaphores be with you" SO awesome.
a lot has being going on in baltimore...or bawlmore as they say down here (Crabcakes and football baby!) the job situation is so so...office politics are a mess and such, but a few of my clients are super awesome, and make the job worthwhile. I am enjoying the city of Baltimore and especially being so close to D.C. I actually went down there a few weeks ago for a Young Alumnae event, which was crashed by MBB and her posse, including Susan Thomas and a woman named Poppy. It was so much fun...except for the awkward moment when MBB told Amy, Andrea and I that she dosn't know what to do before she goes to bed when George isn't around. I'll let that sink in. You can all thank me for the visuals running though your minds. After the tea, Amy, Andrea and I hung out in Alexandria where we ate good food, bought cute shoes, drank wine and beer, and heard a grand little Irishman sing in a pub, as we learned hang motions to songs about elephants and Alice (who the fuck is Alice?!)
My travels most recently have taken me back to Pittsburgh for Thanksgiving. My Sarah Milford came to Pittsburgh for Thanksgiving, and lets just say it was a blast. I love hanging out with my "it's complicated." She's pretty darn cool. We ate a lot, drank a lot, watched a lot of West Wing, slept a lot, and generally showed the city of ambridge a rocking time. Thanksgiving day was spent at my Mom's friend's house who has a Victorian mansion. I think Sarah summed up Thanksgiving best "there was a baby, good food, guitars and wine" We all relished our inner hippy as we sang Puff the Magic Dragon and Leavin on a Jet plane while drowning the white zin.
the rest of the week was equally as fun. Saturday was my football, beer, tree party. It pretty much lasted from 12pm-11pm, and was soo great, despite FSU snd Tech's losses. Sorry, Sarah...I'm not upset Georgia won, i was just rooting for the underdog...and I how could I not root for a team who's fight song ends "GO FIGHT WIN DRINK GET NAKED! It was good to see some of my friends from cell group...I really miss those guys.
Sunday was marred, among other things by the Steelers loss. Singing Strawberry Wine at the top of my lungs with Sarah in my car in the way home made it ALL BETTER!
Lots of lessons learned this time around. Some good, some bad. For example, I learned that a car payment is an unfortuante reality of life for a lot of people. Given how much i drive for work, and my toyota's rapid aging, I am now one of those people. But the good lesson resulted in my master haggleing to get me http://www.nissanusa.com/configurator/en?service=external/SelectColor&mo=2007:vrh&bs=default&tr=_TE_S&us=35&se=11|15|23|35|38|7&pv=35|36 that beauty! (in Blue Onyx) I'm still deciding between names, it's down to Georgia or Suzie Blue. Thoughts? Anyway it's terrifying to have a new car that you are paying for...it's like the turn of the key in the lock in adulthood. Although, i can always sell it and move overseas. That's what i tell myself to sleep at night. Difficult lifelessons include the realization that break ups change everything. even if your relationship post break up is solid. there are some things and relationships that i don't think will be the same since this summer, and I really regret that. I hope all of you had a wonderful thanksgiving! Christmas is just weeks away, so put on those sleighbells, and santa hats my friends! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 25th, 2006|11:29 am] |
Thanksgiving rules.
I never thought I would grow so attached to a place; but the realization hit me yesterday that this was probably my last Thanksgiving in Ambridge, and it made me a little sad. How is that for irony?
I will update soon with stories from the week, including a re-tell of the time i spent with my fab. frien Sarah, my new car purchase, and other important things.
Go Noles! |
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| on the lighter side of things |
[Oct. 1st, 2006|09:05 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | the discovery channel, as it is my new favorite | ] | i am seriously considering making this journal just funny comments my mom makes. nancy is freakin' hilarious sometimes.
so nancy comes down to be with me this weekend, and help me engage in come retail/brownie baking/eating therapy. we are watching the discovery channel and it is featuring monkies. the following conversation insues
me: i think i want a pet monkey mom: just get married. then you'll have one.
oh, nancy.
it may seem like an odd post given the other events of this week, but i just had to share.
i am doing ok. david is ok. we're talking and praying eachother through this. the peace we both feel is amazing...but the sadness is as well. we're gonna make it after all
shlameel, shlamazzel, hassenfeffer incorporated. we're gonna do it. |
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| i always hear the freight train if i listen real hard. |
[Sep. 28th, 2006|09:52 pm] |
david and i broke up. it is a good thing for both of us.
it will be a good thing. it will.
at the risk of sounding like a cliche, i once again find that Adam Duritz says it way better (if slightly more down than i feel) than i ever could:
This circus is falling down on its knees The big top is crumbling down Its raining in baltimore fifty miles east Where you should be, no ones around
I need a phone call I need a raincoat I need a big love I need a phone call
These train conversations are passing me by And I dont have nothing to say You get what you pay for But I just had no intention of living this way
I need a phone call I need a plane ride I need a sunburn I need a raincoat
And I get no answers And I dont get no change Its raining in baltimore, baby But everything else is the same
Theres things I remember and things I forget I miss you I guess that I should Three thousand five hundred miles away But what would you change if you could?
I need a phone call Maybe I should buy a new car I can always hear a freight train if I listen real hard And I wish it was a small world Because Im lonely for the big towns Id like to hear a little guitar I think its time to put the top down
I need a phone call I need a raincoat |
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| survey time... |
[Aug. 7th, 2006|08:26 pm] |
so...do i live in an apartment that it a little more expensive that is in town, although on the outskirts of the "heroin" district, but it's my own and somewhat city living?
or
do i live in the cheaper, all utlilities including internet and cable slightly smaller apt in the middle of a neighborhood over this couple's seperate garage that's away from town, but the couple is cool?
i have no idea. i hate apartment hunting in small towns. seriously, let me know.
on a seperate note, my mom and i are watching tv, and a no smoking comerical came on, and my mom without looking up from her suduko book says, "don't smoke." she also told me not to have sex in my new apartment. oh last minute life lessons. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 7th, 2006|02:29 pm] |
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where is sarah milford? Has anyone seen my wife? I miss her! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 9th, 2006|04:48 pm] |
if kayleigh gets a good grade on her lsat, then she will go to a good law school. if she goes to a good law school, she will become a good lawyer, and be very happy as she crusades to fight injustice in the world.
based upon this scenario, which assumption can be made?
A. if kayleigh goes to law school, she will be famous
B. if kayleigh does not get accepted by law school, it is because she scored poorly on her lsat
c. if kayleigh does not score well on her lsat, she will not be a crusader for injustice and be miserable.
d. kayleigh f-in hates logic questions
the correct answer is c. (although d is tempting)
if any of you my friends, are the praying type, please please please offer up a prayer for my lsat exam on monday. after a week of studying, it's not looking that great. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 1st, 2006|09:13 pm] |
we got time and streets making saint's and sinners....
i less than three paddy casey...<3
i cannot believe the amazing friends and boyfriend that i have. seriously, every day, I am continuelly blessed to have them in my life...and most of the times, lets be honest, i am cranky and don't deserve them. I'm glad that for some reason, they love me anyways.
best weekend ever. Dave drove down and suprised me Friday night at 12:30 with a knock at the door and a single rose. i was ready to call public safety because i thought it was a rapist...and i was in the middle of ranting ab how i was sort of annoyed with him because he scared me earlier and i though he had been hit by a semi...anyways...i should have noticed Nic and Liz laughing.
Anyway, we had the best weekend...and we didn't do much...just being around him makes my world happier. we cooked dinner and went to a movie, and slept in late and stayed in bed, and just speant time with eachother. it was so nice
i love my roommates immensely for all they did to make this happen...including scrubbing my tub. no joke. that's love.
i made an interview for TFA so i really hope that works out. say a prayer for me.
snoochie boochies |
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| rant |
[Jan. 31st, 2006|03:52 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | the sound of the printer ruining someone's life | ] | Ok, so, i figure i've been back in class for about 2 weeks now...i've gone through the Denial phase, as in Graduation? Whta the heck is that? So i figure its about time to move into the Anger phase...
RANT
I really really believe that there should be a smokers and non-smokers section of class. I left class with a headache because i was sitting next to Smoky McSmokerson...aka Ashley Spicer and mine's Southern Favorite...prison tat. anyway...it was GROSS. I feel i have a right to breathe clean air, and not toxins from your disgusting habit...Liz this may apply to your bean buritos. j/k you know i love them.
Secondly if you are a JUNIOR in college and you havn't figured out how to come to class on time, why do you bother? Obviously, you have bigger issues to tackle then reading critically. But if you are going to Walk in 15 minutes late...for EVERY damn class, seriously don't waste my time. don't distract me who cares enought to show up on time. seriously. OH and because you show up so damn late you don't hear instructions, so you sign up to do a presentation on the same freakin' author as I am...don't know the date of the presentation which co-incides with the Writer's Festival (incidentially, how do you not know when the Writer's Festival is if you are an Creative Writing major) ...and REFUSE to switch your author even though i followed directions and signed up first. Seriously. Now I am doing a group presentation like i am 15 and don't know how to report on an author's work. bitch, please i'm a senior.
it now occurs to me that there is probably some horrible reason why this girl is prepetually late, and I am going to feel like a HUGE ass once someone tells me.
ASC Bookstore...sucks.
So everyone knows that bad things happen in 3's, right? Well, Wendy Wassterstein died yesterday, Coretta Scott King died today, and while I was pondering over which great Woman we would lose next, a though occurred to me...maybe we already have? Alito was confirmed today, which means Sandra Day O'Conner will be retiring. So we've lost one of two women on the Supreme Court. Does anyone else find it incredibly depressing that in the highest court of the land we only have 1 woman? Freakin' men...
Ok, well today wasn't all that bad. I have just finished my Milk-Duds that made me feel 100 percent better. Did you know that Milk Duds have 35% last fat than Leading Chocolate Brands? Note to self...no more leading chocolate brands.
Here are the Highlights of the day. I like to present a balanced view. -I got a book from my mom in the mail today...it's a children's book called The Voice which is super cute..everyone must read it. -Talking to the Miller durring work today made work so enjoyable. and it didn't make me feel like a loser when i checked my in box every 2.4 minutes. -My writing Prof told me that I could "Do Better" with one metaphore i used. Which funnily enough makes me very happy. She's right! It did suck. About damn time someone told me that. -And finally, here is Dave's take on what the State of the Union Will be like tonight. It might be accurate "Hello and good evening America. If you don't no me yet, they call me 'Georgie' on the farm. Mamma used to call me Lil' Bushel, but everybody just calls me 'Bush-whacker' now. It's because I literally whack those jee hosa'fahtah taxes, just read my daddy's lips on the tape. YEEE HAAA! (Now watch this shot!) Anyways, I am all excited - if you ask me, and you don't have a choice - about a new stabilitized, stronger, more lean and mean, hoorahfied, go-get-'em and giv'em ah swirly, God Bless America, lower gas in-take, cost-efficient, fuel-efficient, energy-efficient, centralized, nationally and nationality secured, don't be scur'd or homeland insecurrr, no-fly zone, freedom frightening fighting, UN sanctions co-ordinating, weapons for the destruction of the masses finding, freedom fries eat'n, Iraqi liberating, 'Al-Kidd'ah hunt'n downing, Pakistan mountain ranges blowing upping, six-way Norte Korean peace talk'n, congressional back'n, ain't no slack'n or you'll be pack'n -- Hussein'n, anti-communist book on China recommend'n, ethanol collect'n, 'cause we're running out of options, wire-tap'n, Alito confirm'n, why would I go to congress to make somethin' legal that I was doin' illegally, I've got an itch and the only cure is more cowbell Republic'n Regime runnin' butter Grover mint."
That boy is such a Liberal and he doesn't even know it yet. |
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